Solitude

Am not a psychotic that I live with the fear of being alone. I did not ever enjoy seclusion or loneliness. It was always easy to spot me amid a bustling crowd because I was best when I was with people talking or having casual fun.

But in the journey of life, everyone faces life altering moments and from those moments onwards, your life changes. Well similarly, I had been subjected to some events that changed my life. I no longer feared loneliness.

Rewinding time, and going back to that day when I was too messed up in my head due to a lot of emotional stuff that was going on, I wanted a friend or someone who cared enough for me. I needed a shoulder to cry on and someone I could confide in. But despite, having too many caring friends I failed to find that one person who could lift my spirit and who would have shown me the light of faith. Who would have reinstalled that hope in me and would have just looked into my teary eyes and said “everything will be ok”.

But that day nothing went ok. Rather after the dark clouds of sorrow had subsided I discovered immense strength in me that I had not known for long. That very same night, I cried my heart out and realised that I am not bound by dependency on others nor am I afraid of being alone. That night I may have fallen asleep crying but I woke up to new times.

I always thought that I need someone at all times to make me feel secured and protected. But not any more. Maybe that day made me aloof and I detached with the world for a while or for longer, who knows. But I believe it was all for good. Now, I do not expect from people and thus, I save myself from the trouble of disappointment.

Well I certainly believe that people don’t change only their lives change. We all remain the same. We have an angel and a devil in all of us. Its our choice to act anyone out of the two. I don’t know if it’s the angel or devil writing this here, but I do know its not a pleasant feeling of independence. Because I have always been spotted amid a crowd and this change is not what I really opted for. Sooner or later, I will bounce back to the place where I belong and loneliness definitely is not my abode.

Enduring the limits...

If there would have not been any restrictions, life would have been an exaggerated version of freedom. Imagining a life where there is no one to guide you through or any limitation on anything you do just makes life appear so meaningless and tasteless. We often see people crib over something they wanted to do but couldn’t because they see ahead of them obstacles or restrictions. These limitations put their will power to attest and gauge the determination of the person to attain the objective.

These restrictions which when imposed lend thrill and excitement and offer a challenge to people that brings out the needy side of their nature and helps them judge the same. Hence life is full of obstacles for which we should be thankful to the divine maker of mankind because it is these restrictions that enhance a person’s endurance and always teaches a lesson.

During childhood, children want to have the exact toy that their friend has bought. It’s the very first sight of the new exotic thing that lures them into having it. They end up demanding it from their parents and when not heeded by their folks results in a few days of crying and even more in sadness. But then as days pass by, they learn to overcome the fact that they were unable to have the toy which they wanted so badly. That’s the brighter side; it teaches you to accept the feeling of deprivation and heals the void suffered.

Similarly, in your teenage, you are not permitted for a party or celebration of which you want to desperately be a part of. So the entire cycle is repeated but doing less damage and faster recovery. Consequently, our life gets accustomed to this process of desire, failure, acceptance, recovery and so forth. This reminds of the first walk we have which is immediately followed by our very first fall. That tender age begins the process which continues till your final last breath. Throughout the journey of life we keep experiencing such incidents which define who we really are.

Thus, we need to endure failure and accept it. That’s the keyword to happy state of being. It’s the answer to most of our mind puzzling questions.

Into every life a little rain must fall

I sit on a comfortable couch and see the clouds floating. Black clouds covering the clear blue sky behind. Every few seconds the lightening strikes. Before the scenic splendour, I am witnessing right now, it had been raining cats and dogs. Nothing can be more refreshing and rejuvenating than this (ok, maybe the exotic massage at the spa).

After staying in the hustling and bustling city, it is difficult to connect with yourself, as you get so lost and consumed in the crowd. This was the best escape for me from the usual monotonous routine I undertake every single day.

The cool breeze just blew strands of hair away from my face. It’s so calm and gentle. The trees stand tall in front of me, swaying from side to side. As I got caught up in putting my thoughts on to the paper, I suddenly looked up at the heavens above and saw the most splendid scenery.

The clouds transpired into the shades of pink, blue and grey and the black blanket faded. I just wondered that how the sea and the beach would would appear at this point of time with high tides, the waves gushing the shore. Its been time now and the rains have stopped, the mesmerising fragrance of the mud brings back the old memories of the childhood and consequently, it brings a smile on my face.

Nothing more to add, I wish that smile always remains (self obsessed) irrespective of the predicaments it offers. And as a wise man once said, smiling is infectious, thus, it spreads from one person to the other. For everyone, who reads this, keep smiling and appreciate the little things of life. It makes us feel lucky and special of what we have and helps us honour the privilege we have been bestowed upon.

Fleeting images

We, human beings fear failures and disappointments and dwell hatred or vengeance in our hearts on the mere occasion of being hurt. But on the other hand, we expect the people who we let down to understand our plight and be forgiving. Just as we are selfish, we want second chances but often do not deem in others to have the opportunity of making up to us. That is perhaps, because we consider ourselves delicate and fragile, so any incident which shakes the base of the foundation of our trust, leading to bitterness which takes birth out of self sympathy. Instead of being vigilant, we foster paranoia which helps us to be afraid of the measly thought of trusting others. We begin to doubt everything and lay any evidence under taut scrutiny. But the question still remains the same. Can we trust him/her? Or can we trust him/her “again”?

We are social animals and most of us despise solitude. In the journey of life, everybody wants to rely, confide and grow old with someone they can trust and love. But, unlike fairytales, most of us go through trials and have been unsuccessful in the attempt of finding that special friend or beloved. However, we should learn to forgive and forget and help our relationship to sustain the adversities rather than kneeling down and giving up on people who matter.

Forgiveness is one of the most underestimated virtues any individual has been conferred upon. As we grow old with regrets and grudges, with what ifs and buts, we have a propensity to get cautious due to our uneventful experiences and that directs us towards indifference. Consequently, just as we ask people whose faith we jeopardized, to forgive our mistakes and sins, similarly, we should pardon the ones who hurt us and broke our trust. We can build trust again over time but you can’t bring back the person you drove away because of the ruthlessness in our behavior that made us to loathe the truth of life.

Suspicion or doubt is one destructive tool which can hinder any relationship and aid in flouting love bonds between people. Thus, leave the past and don’t think about the future. Live in the present moment and paint every moment into a picture worth remembering.

Life as we know it!!!

Jonathan Swift said, “May you live all the days of your life”. What a beautiful thought? But how many of us just sigh and wish that they could follow this thought and apply it to our monotonous mundane lives. Well the answer is plethoric and I am just one of the many.

In the developing process, we stumble upon thoughts that inspire us to chase our dreams and encourage pursuing our goals. But in the course of time, unlike fairytales, life does not always moulds as we had planned.

When we are young, we aspire to become like our idols and often emulate them because we perceive them to be perfect and flawless. After too much trial and encounter with reality, we accept the bitter truth that we would never be like them. The unidentified reason is unquestioned as the innocence detests the acknowledgement of failure.

Later realisation dawns upon us and we accept the uniqueness conferred by the Almighty and learn to ardour and perfect it. Thus, the transformation transpires and a step towards improvement is initiated.

But not always do we confront situations with our best conduct and neglect the silver lining underlying our predicaments. Thus, we should seek the bright and positive side of the fence and live life to the fullest. Chase our dreams and desires but apparently one shouldn’t let the unsuccessful result to bring us down. Hence, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

Life has great things to offer and we should welcome and embrace every minute element of it. Treat our joys and sorrows with gratitude for they endowed an experience we will keep forever. It doesn’t cost a dime to smile and it is the most beautiful gift we can present anyone.

Life is too short to live and thus, spend every moment of your life sharing and spreading happiness around you. Pursue your aspirations and do what satiates your desires. Most importantly, be happy in what you do every day, every minute and every second of your wonderful life!

Cherish...

As I embrace myself to post another article on my blog, I exercise my hyperactive brain to think about a topic to write. I know its not mandatory to write everyday, but I insisted on writing articles on a regular basis. Thus, I am still thinking and have no clue as to what to write about.

I close my eyes; take a deep breath and focus. Quotations by famous people, various emotions, and then I end up opening my treasure box of memories. I am thinking about the most beautiful moments of my life spent with truly cherished and special people. They have stood by my side firmly through thick and thin and have reinstalled that faith in me that went missing in the most demeaning times. They have lent support during my struggle and have seen my dreams shattered. They have in one way or the other, completed the chapters of my life.

As I recall all the wonderful instances, I realise how fortunate and blessed I am to have such enormous amount of love, care and compassion. It refurbishes my enervated spirit and gives me a reason to smile even when I am sitting all alone in my room, getting prepared to study for tomorrow’s exam.

Well, I am going to take leave with this thought on my mind, and tonight maybe give a call to people who have been my inspiration to never give up and show them how deeply indebted I am to them.

Thank all the significant people who made life worthwhile!

Break The Wall...

As I was surfing through the net this morning to download some college notes, a quote caught my attention which read – “There is no point keeping your heart as strong as iron because you never know whose heart may turn out to be a magnet.”

And then my fingers twitched and I couldn’t help writing as it evoked several sentiments. Well sometimes it is so fascinating to see people make use of words and construct such wonderful statements which can best describe the situation we all face in our lives once or twice.

So this quote takes me back in time and as my past flashes in front of me, I see myself as a completely different being that is pure at heart and not as smart like the altered person I am today. I exercised much liberty in feelings and did not hesitate in expressing my thoughts unlike now where I strive to be diplomatic which is essential to keep out of controversies and I don’t think I am doing a good job. And that happens because when we are young and naïve, we tend to think emotionally rather than practically and do not magnify the details of everything. As truly said, experience does not let us enjoy our mistakes, and makes us responsible for our deeds.

As we grow old and evolve, we are inclined to build walls around ourselves and in this hectic era, we dwell in a nutshell and are always residing in our comfort zone. That is because we have been through a lot of pain and suffering and know how exactly it feels when our trust is broken or when we lose the one we love or just simple disappointment received from somebody we care about.

In order to be perceived emotionally strong, we choose to be independent which we think would save us from being hurt. But we overlook the possibility of us falling for someone and often disregard people who make an attempt to give birth to a new relationship with us. As brutal as we can be to avert all the accidents that can tamper our emotions, we masquerade the happiest face and pretend to be a satisfied individual who does not need anyone to share anything with. But the truth is always something else only known to our conscience.

Often we ask questions while lying down on the bed alone, shortly before we fall into a deep slumber are that why are we holding back our emotions or why do we have to think so much? Such questions always arise after we have met someone who has knocked on the wall or brought our box of emotions a little tremor.

Contemplating the consequences that eventually follow after putting trust in someone, it makes us paranoid and we begin to over analyse minute details which gradually hamper the relationship. Thus, we manifest our learning from the past and devoid us from any feelings for anyone so that we do not have to confront the same situations again. Apparently we choose to abscond from situations that may emancipate our feelings that had been tied down and closed in the nook of our hearts.

Termed as attraction which is the initial stage of a feeling for someone to develop, to be nurtured and to become a commitment, it is less avoided as it does not have any emotional strings attached. Like a magnetic force, the attraction progresses if we allow it too, and thus, it lets us to come in contact with the most beautiful of feelings.

Hence, it is good to safeguard ourselves from being hurt but at the same time we need to give us an opportunity to have faith and hope that not always things happen the way it did in the past and that the present does not guarantee a secured and happy future. Just play along and do not exist in a world of seclusion and pretence. Like a little bud that blooms into a flower, let those little feelings blossom into the eternal joyous feeling called love. Let yourself free in the presence of others and experience togetherness!!!